Loving you

By -

I wish I love you.....I wish I love you so so much....
But I can't. I can't let myself to love you.
I can't because you don't allow me to dream.
You don't allow me to follow my dreams.
I can't love you because you have destroyed all my dreams I had.

Anyway I miss you.


Maybe I should't miss you....It's like a torture.

I do not know how the future will be. ...
I can't say even it's good what I have decided........ maybe I will regret all my life...maybe not. May be you will regret...who knows...??? Maybe I will change my mind...maybe you will... MAY BE ...you will change. You will....maybe not..

Hopes.

I want my dreams back. I want my life back. Can I have everything back to me please?

Of course I can!

But...I can't forget the words..." I don't want to sacrifice...I can't afford....I think you should return in your country....I don't know how will you face the PhD with this low English....you should get a job".....bla, bla , bla.
How can you say this? Don't you feel pains in your soul when you say these things?

Shall I forget these words? Shall I?
Maybe it is not a such a big thing to forget them...but who will know?
DO YOU WANT me to forget them....?

The time will show me the way....
The time will show you the way....
The time will show our way. If we have a common one, haha. If we don't have, we can build one together.....but do you want?
I do not know how to behave with you...I do not know what do you want....please just tell me.....in my brain it's a big fog.

My dreams are made puzzle beause of you.
Sometimes I feel like in heaven with you...sometimes it's like hell.
Shall I put you out of my brain? But how? It's so easy to say..but so hard to do it....

Can I have a normal life? Why everything should be so complicated ....? can I be just happy? Can I be just happy without you? ...................And you? Are you happy without me? Are you really believe what are you saying? hmmm

It's more easy to put me away than to give us a chance? It is so hard to talk with me?
Do you really believe you can be happy with someone else? But me?..............


Be clear to me..like I am clear to you ....I ask you only this



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Hakkari, Turkey

By -
Image
      If I would not get the opportunity to see Hakkari through an Youth in Action project, I probably would have never visit ed this blessed town, settled in the middle of the mountains. Hakkari is a place situated in the South East corner of Turkey, close to the border with Iraq and Iran.   It is composed of a Kurdish and Assyrian population and has approximately 57,844 people.     The history of this place takes your breath away. It was a refuge for the persecuted Christian Assyrians who ran away   in   the mountains to protect themselves against the Timurlane occupation (Turko-Mongolian   emir) in the 14 th century. Then in the 19 th century, they   were conquered by the Kurdish people and were turned into slaves or executed. There were also many conflicts between the Kurdish population an d the O t toman (later, Turkish) control. Hakkari was considered and it is still seen as an unsafe place to live.   Still, there is no r
Read more

Bitola. It's all about history here

By -
Image
Thanks to Youth in Action programme again, I came across an old, historical, Macedonian city called Bitola. Situated in the S-W part of Macedonia, Bitola settles at the foot of Baba Mountain and it is crossed by the Dragon River.   The place represents an important junction between the Adriatic Sea, the Aegean Sea and Central Europe. You would never guess, but this city has an impressive history.     It was founded as Heraclea Lyncestis (City of Hercules upon the Land of the Lynx) in the middle of the 4th century BC by Philip II of Macedon and it was an important settlement from the Hellenistic period until the early Middle Ages. Then, the Romans conquered this part of Macedon in 148 BC and destroyed the political power of the city. Still, the city remained prosperous because of the Via Egnatia Roman road which passed by the city. In the early Byzantine period (4th to 6th centuries AD) Heraclea was an important episcopal centre and bishops like Bishop Eva
Read more

The Summer University of Ramnicu Sarat on the Communism Crimes

By -
Image
1. The Prisons I was so anxious about this summer school. I was thinking many times if it is a good idea to participate or not. I was afraid that I will not be able to take more information about the crimes during communism because already I knew something from Roxana (my colleague from the Historical Film Festival Summer School) and it was so painful to find out what happened in those cruel times.  Roxana:) After her story, I couldn’t sleep a couple of nights. But this it was good. Actually, it was the best preparation for the following hard information. Her introduction in the Communism regime was so helpful for me. In the first day, we went to visit the Ramnicu Sarat Prison . It was the first time in my life when I entered into a prison. This prison was no longer active. Well, this prison was built in the    period of King Charles the First ofRomania ( 1839–1914) as a small prison . In the Communism regime, it was known as the Silence Prison as e
Read more